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MariPanda 32, Female, Nevada, USA - 17 entries

Jan 2007
11:31 AM PDT

Mood: Pouty Last entry, I typed about not taking celebrity crushes seriously. (Because it's never gonna happen anyway, right? -scowls-) Sam Concepcion is a guy that can sing, dance, and act. Triple threat. Then there are rumors going around that he is already off the market! How rude! I.Am.Upset.About.This. Yes, you may think that I need to forget about it and chill. But I'm a teenage girl. This kind of thing comes.......naturally? -sigh- Why me??? I get straight As, I do my chores, I've been a good girl; how can I possibly deserve this kind of treatment in my lovelife??? LOL. Just kidding. I had to put that out ;) Anyways.........despite my saddness, I congratulate that lucky girl who gets to be with Sam. (Kill, KILL!) -ahem- Yeah, I truly do. Really. -silence- OK, maybe I don't. If you'll excuse me, I have a scheduled trip to Lala Land that cannot be missed. Good day.

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harip 46, Male, India - 10 entries

Jan 2007
2:04 AM HNA

ASdasdf

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harip 46, Male, India - 10 entries

Jan 2007
1:59 AM HNA

lih

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ortizdayday76 45, Male, California, USA - 10 entries

Jan 2007
1:29 PM EDT

i really like bob marley. his music is very soothing and really good. if you havn't herd bob marley you should really try to here his music its great stuff.

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ortizdayday76 45, Male, California, USA - 10 entries

Jan 2007
1:22 PM EDT

Im just tryin to do all of my ten pages but i dont now if i can because it will take forever and i havn't done to much of them yet. it will probbly take me a while.but i guess i have to do it.

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oconfessionario 40, Female, North Carolina, USA - 8 entries

Jan 2007
1:02 PM EDT

Today is just not going the way I wanted it too. I was successful in finding a pair, no, two pair of sneakers and got some workout pants and mousse at Target with Nyssa but for some reason, this day just doesn't feel fulfilling. Now I am trying to get my room cleaned up and organized before I have to babysit tonight and classes start tomorrow. I was talking to Nyssa about the things I don't really like about living with a room-mate. And I really don't like to even think about those things, because I know how lucky I am to live where I do, and that Kelly is so nice, even though I do have a few pet peeves, which I'm sure she does too. And also, I think last night eating that burrito, it was too much food, and then the crackers, I'm just wondering what possesses me to eat so much in 1 setting. And I know what it is--duh, boredom! Of course I didn't think of that before. I should have just read my book and went to bed, but no I ate pbj crackers instead. I did also find a coat too, which I'm really excited about! So really, I'm all set to get started working out now. The coat is on it's way, I've got workout pants and shoes, and I can start walking again! Also when I was talking to Nyssa I just realized how much I want to help her adopt a healthier attitude towards things and you just can't do that for someone, they have to come to things on their own. I just don't want to discourage her by my own progress, whether good or bad. And I don't want to get sucked back into the mindset of letting my environment and who I'm with control me, because it doesn't. I think that's why I'm happiest and healthiest when I'm spending a lot of time on my own, and I'm constantly working or sticking to a schedule. I am glad that I am babysitting for the Harts again tonight. And I am going to make good (for the second time) on not eating everything in sight, and esp. staying away from sugars which I know are the worst things I could eat right now. Today my little temptations card is really not going to get filled up so far. I've eaten so much... 2 eggs, 2 pckts oatmeal at bfast 1/2 burrito, salsa, 1/2 c butter beans 1 c. rice chex, 2 c. 2% organic milk 1 english muffin, 2 tbs peanut butter Woah. I do feel encouraged to be a good role model for Nyssa though. I want to start walking right away, tomorrow morning. God, please help me to make good on these goals. I'm sorry I was ignoring your guidance when I was eating earlier today. I let the beast get to me again today. But I know that I will win because I could feel it today, that you are going to help me. I'm going to finish cleaning up, start a load of laundry, and then get all the garbage out of my car. Tomorrow, I'm going to get up at 7, walk around the neighborhoods from 7:30 to 8:30 or so, or go to the gym. Then I'll have time to shower from 9 until 10 and eat breakfast, and then make it to class at 1050. I have Bio and Lab tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous too, about talking to someone and figuring out what the hell I'm going to do about graduating. It's scary to think that I have to decide all this, well before May gets here. Yikes! But I really trust that God will give me the guidance, and he's going to help me find out what I'm doing this summer. I keep going back and forth with the bookselling thing, and right now it's back. Alright, time to get productive.

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MariPanda 32, Female, Nevada, USA - 17 entries

Jan 2007
9:17 AM EDT

Okkie....I know it's kinda pathetic to be in love with a celebrity or something. (It's not! It can happen!) But I can't really help it. When I see a cute guy who's got talent, the looks, and the charm, I can't help but sigh in awe. I think that's kinda natural for girls around my age, right? It's all part of growing up. But, it sucks when you find out your crush likes another person or is already taken. Situations like that shouldn't be taken seriously, like to the height of depression. Although, it is okay to be a little upset because, hey, you've admired that person for quite a while. (Okay....maybe about 2 or 3 days) And, you can still admire him. Sure, he has an equally talented girlfriend, but that's not gonna stop you from still liking his work. Right? I think I'm making sense here. Sort of. -_-;;

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harip 46, Male, India - 10 entries

Jan 2007
10:32 PM HNA

asdf

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Angela Wang 47, Female, China - 73 entries

Jan 2007
10:10 PM EDT

I got up 6:30 this morning in order to catch the school bus. But it was unlucky that I just missed the bus, so I had to catch public bus. When the bus arrived at the bus stop which is just in the front of the Medical University, but I went to toilet which is in the university. It was already 7:30 when I got on bus. An hour later, I arrived in our university and found surprisingly that my roommates was still in deep sleep.

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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Jan 2007
9:16 AM EDT

well isnt this sad? the only person i can confide in is a computer. only the computer isntreally a real thing and mythoughts are simply just being read by only me. i am back at college and i am just in a foul mood and i dont want to be here. ive said this so many times before that i dont like it here but what would i rather be doing? i dont ever seem to be able to enjoy the company of others for an extended amount oftime. i just want to go home, wherever that might me. my brother is gone. my sister is married. i dont know my relatives. that just leaves my parents. but im 19. i dont want to have to be one of those sore losers who lives with their parents til theyre 40 years old. but i just cant grow up. and im tired. and im depressed. and it looks like at this point in my life i am never going to truly experience any sort of happiness whatsoever. i am simply justunhappy. nothing makes me truly happy. i feel like myspirits have been beat up and my soul has been tossed carelessly into a blender. i dont know what i am doing here.i dont know what i am doing with my lifeand i dont know where im headed becauseim never okay with myself. and it needs to stop but it wont and i am doomed and this sucks and i feel stuck and trapped and no one can let me out. i cant just decide to have a new outlook on life. no. it doesnt work out that way. icant just switch off and on the way i feel. i feel like crying but i cant because im like a brick wall of empty feelings that dont exist and i know that sounds terribly emo but i guess that just means that im emo and deal. every day is like a fucking war and im getting weaker and weaker. what to do to pass the time? i have no energy left in me. i have no will left in me. i want to be happy but cant. i want to feel alive but thats a foreign concept. this is hard. this really sucks. why cant i enjoy anything anymore? i feel like im alone in my thoughts and in my mind. as far as a heart goes i think its lost or forgotten somewhere andi cant find it. i feel like flipping ape shit. i have noconfidence in myself with what im doing with my life and it is pretty fucking sad. im always worrying. now i am always fearing. because everything seems bad and inevitable. i cant fight it. i cant help myself. i cant help others. i dont know what im doing but i feel like such a loner all the time and it sucks. i just want to crawl into a corner and hide forever.

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3 comment(s) - 03:12 PM - 01/15/2007

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